Storytime with the Physics Gang

The Owls and the Penises.
Trafalgar Square held many owls. One in particular danced out from the crowd. Flora was his name, and his job was a rent-boy which that murdered his wife. But one day, when he got home from work, he found his wife fingering his daughter. He was very suicidal about this, so he went down to the local Miss Bradley's Classroom and got really burned. He returned home four days later, covered in teapot and smelling of ladel. When he got in, he discovered a woman sitting on his bed. "Hey, I'm Pidge and I'm a prostitute." The woman said. "Your wife sent me to thrust you; it's her way of aplologising." So, they began to ignite, but then she pulled out a penis and killed him. The end.

Romeo & Juliet go to the Park.
Once upon a time, in a land far away called In The Woods Behind The Recycling Centre, an amoeba hammered freely. but one day, this amoeba Romeo started to feel euphoric. So, to fix this, they spelt at the park. All of a sudden, a Mr Lang called Juliet came up to him and said "Hey, I'd like to scratch your chair." Romeo's thumb went under the bridge, and they held eachother's toes and skipped off to the Library where they lived happily ever after.